Sunday, July 14, 2013

The dude from Glee died yesterday.

I was a Day 1 Gleek. I bailed early in the third season; there became increasingly more "special episodes" dealing with Serious Teen Issues. Glee is great as a musical comedy about losers trying to get through high school. Quit taking yourself so serious, Glee. You might not get Slushees thrown in your face as much.

Poor Finn... The show never quite knew what do to with him after the first season. The new writers (who came aboard after season 2) never followed through with the show's (good) plan to completely pass the torch to the younger underclassman (in their mid-twenties). Saved by the Bell: The College Years made it one year. Saved by the Bell: The New Class lasted for eight, with only Mr. Belding and and Screech sticking around. (Even the original Saved by the Bell lasted about half as long.)

Like the other male lead, Mr. Shu, Finn is the blandest of boring characters; I blame this (mostly) on poor writing. (plus they kept adding new male cast members, like Darren Criss, who perform circles around pretty much anybody.) By comparison, this made Finn all the more uninteresting, and it made his performances seem milquetoast, at best.

If you watch Cory Monteith while he's singing, it's easy to see his skill and feel the emotion he's putting out there. His chemistry with Lea Michele was undeniable. He had comedy chops. He was stoic but vulnerable; he had a masculine physicality coupled with a soft, lovely voice. And the dude played drums and sang! At the same time!

I would have liked to have seen Mr. Monteith tell that cruddy show to fuck off, and try something different. He was a poor man's Channing Tatum. And right now, that's a fucking good business to be in.

Oh well, shit. I didn't know the guy, and I already gleefully ditched Glee. But fuck, we're all human. The guy clearly had problems dealing with drugs (I can relate) and fame (not so much). It makes me a little sad that he'll never get another shot to steal a lovable lunkhead role away from Taylor Kitsch. He could have been the new protege or a rival stripper in Magic Mike II. Who knows, he might have surprised us all by playing Edison in Lightbulb: The Movie.

You will be missed, sir.


Saturday, July 13, 2013

A spliftastic review of Skins: Fire (You're growns up and you're growns up and you're growns up...)

Skins: Fire parts I and II (Effy)

Madame Deluca: And what emotion have you chosen to depict? 
Effy Stonem: Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness, Tiredness, Hope, Lust, Love. 
Madame Deluca: A veritable feast. So where is it? 
Effy Stonem: It's everywhere. 
Madame Deluca: My dear girl, I'm not sure I understand. 
Effy Stonem: It’s conceptual. You just can't see it. 
Madame Deluca: You’re saying you haven't done it? 
Effy Stonem: No I'm saying you can't see it.

(from “Effy” series 2 eposide 7)


Skins is a shamelessly soapy teen drama. The story lines are always over the top (though, well-paced), but this show is all about evoking pure, raw emotion. This fantastic final go-around with Effy is par for the course. Kaya Scodelario acts the hell out this thing, and director, Craig Martin, maintains the highest of standards set by the programme for breath-taking cinematography and beautifully moving pieces of music.

With Monday night’s second installment of Skins: Fire, the voyeuristic delight that is the life of Miss Elizabeth Stonem is now forever over.  

This is one big *SPOILERY review about both of the "Effy" episodes, and then I’ll write a review each week for each subsequent episode (two “Cassie” episodes, and then two “Cook” episodes)

*For us Yanks across the pond, iTunes seems to be the proper (and legal) place to find these episodes. They’re only a couple of quid apiece. 

Effy Stonem has always been a curiously detached individual. She struggles mightily to accept the empathy she feels, and it’s her nature to escape, avoid, and ignore problems and scary feelings.

It’s an appropriate opening sequence for Effy’s story (that’s brilliantly shot) showing Londoners scurrying (in slow motion, of course) across a large bridge, armed with raincoats and umbrellas. Eventually, we see Effy (unaffected by the weather) standing calm and still, looking out over the mighty Thames, seemingly unaware of the hoard of humanity passing her by.





Within the first five minutes we learn:

-Effy is working as a low level office assistant at a stock broker company. She acts timid and meek. Is she still mental from the from the series 4 of it all?

-She’s gets crazy flustered around her boss, Jake. He’s super rich and seems super confident. Played by 34 year old Kayvan Novak, Jake looks like a posh, more mature, and more buff version of Freddie Mclair. 


-While sitting outside of the office, Effy is approached by a dorky stock broker acquaintance, Dom, played superbly by Craig Roberts. He “accidentally” passes by and tries to spit his best game; unfortunately, it comes out as, “And… Boom goes the dynamite.” 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no

The other major story-line is Effy now shares a flat with her apparent best friend, Naomi Campbell.

The Naomi story was my least favorite aspect of Part One. She’s lazy, doesn't work, parties constantly (with whip-its!), and selfishly complains to Effy non-stop. Naomi is mostly unlikable and uninteresting. Only towards the end of Part One, when it’s revealed she has cancer does she seem sympathetic.

That said, Lily Loveless does give a truly remarkable performance as Naomi. This brilliant display of acting (particularly in Part Two) makes the cancer story work emotionally, as we slowly watch her come to grips with her terminal illness. She also seems to improve as a comedienne, as evidenced by the big laughs she gets from her Tig Nartaro-like cancer material.

The best moment from “Part One” is a rooftop montage where Dom teaches Effy about stocks and such using sidewalk chalk; the vibe is good, and Dom makes a move, but of coarse Effy reluctantly rejects him, lest she reveal a personal emotion to another human being.



Through gumption, generally being awesome, and much help from Dom, Effy insider-trades eleven million pounds of profit for Jake (approximately $16.5 million). This really turns Jake on, sexually that is. There’s lots of hot doing it, and then, Effy slo-mo dances and triumphantly sniffs celebratory white powders in an obligatory vintage club montage. She gets work promotions, a chauffeured BMW, and a fancy new flat.

“Is this where Patrick Bateman lives?” –Naomi

Of course, it all comes crashing down, and the British SEC begins to investigate the suspicious profits generated by Effy, as Naomi’s health worsens.

Interestingly in Part Two, Naomi's presence reveals the nature of Effy’s two suitors. Jake is annoyed by Naomi’s loud lesbian sex in the next room. He only cares about making money, covering his own arse, and basically being an all around scumbag. On the other hand, Dom is solely concerned with Naomi’s well-being while she is dying (even with the possibility of a prison sentence looming). He’s fiercely protective, magnanimous, and a bad-ass muthafucka.   

In the end, Effy achieves catharsis by cleaning up her messes. She re-unites Emily with Naomi, gets some passionate anger-banging from Dom, and confesses her crimes to the authorities, while ratting out Jake but protecting Dom.

It is rather fitting, isn't it, that the conclusion of Effy's story shows her in silence. Without saying a word, she says goodbye to Naomi through the window of her hospital room, signs her confession to the British SEC, stares frigid daggers at Jake, and is finally led into the back of a police car (to be whisked off to prison).

The final shot of Elizabeth Stonem shows her, alone, staring ahead and pondering her life inside of that police car. Then, that small, little smirk of a smile creeps across her face. It’s the look of epiphany. Effy finally takes responsibility for all of her shit, and she selflessly does right by her friends. (She cares!) This revelation amusingly tickles her, filling her with hope for a happy life one day.

Or maybe she was just smiling about the hot sex she had with Dom.


A truly great installment of Skins
“Skins: Fire” (Effy) A-


Please check back next week for my review of Skins: Rise (Part One) starring Game Of Thrones actress, Hannah Murray as the lovely and captivating Miss Cassie Ainsworth.