I just watched The Bling Ring; my initial impressions were solid. Totally solid flick. It reminded me a lot of the first three and half seasons of Skins. It's like if Bret Easton Ellis wrote the script for Bottle Rocket or Blow.
Full Disclosure: This does has some SPOILERS, but not Bruce Willis is dead or the Titanic sinks at the end. Nothing big like that. After Summerbash, I'm now taking a (possibly permanent) vacation from fucking alcohol. So it’s just good old fashioned California Cancer Medicine for me. Just keep in mind: my side effects are my being fucking baked…
I'm gonna use the "F" word several more times so like, fucking deal with it, I s'pose... Ultimately this film doesn't hold up to the spectacular Vanity Fair piece by Nancy Jo Sales of which Ms. Coppola's script is based.
The author recently expanded the article into a full on book (Personally, I think this film could have been like “Best Picture good” if Ms. Coppola would have been able to collaborate on the script with Sales or someone who can write good and stuff. She's an auteur; what can I say?).
I was looking for a torrent of this book (or the A++ club banger/hip hop soundtrack), and I had thought I had found a sweet Cannes screaner but there's some 2011 film also named Bling Ring. I mean, shit, if award shows and A-list film festivals are good for just one thing, it is providing all of these fucking sweet screeners for us pirates and our bays and so forth.
And GOB on his segue..... Sofia Coppola is just a brilliant visual director. Cinematographers, Harris Savides and Chris Blauvelt hit it out of the fucking ballpark. Brilliantly gorgeous.
Ms. Coppola's dialogue skills throughout the film and certain editing choices in the final act leave something to be desired. The movie starts out confidently fun but ultimately becomes too self-important (these are 1%er problems). This film is at its best when the "Burglary Bunch" is invoking Lucy Ricardo during the time she fell into Richard Widmark's backyard trying snag a Grapefruit from his tree (the tourbus driver just didn't understand that Lucy "only needed to pick a grapefruit.") That should have been the heart of this souless movie: the literal and metaphorical struggle over the celbrities wall... with a prized grapefruit. The two main characters, Mark and Rebecca are essentially a teenaged Ethel and Lucy, respectively.
Having said that, the opening sequence is fucking incredible. It instantly set the wild-ass tone and pace. Nhilistic. Sexy. Frantic. It really left a strong YOLO impression on me.
But having said that, the last thirty minutes of this ninety minute flick had some laggy moments and most of the best lines are quotes from Nancy Jo Sales' article.
*my favorite parts not based on anything are when Rebecca (the ringleader) tries to steal Paris Hilton's dog. It somehow reminded me from Toto from Wizard of Oz. One of the funnier parts of this kinda humorless yet entertaining flick is a running sight gag where Mark (the protagonist) takes a pair of dark pink (almost red) heels that belong to Ms. Hilton. Mark is the only member of the crew who can properly fit into Ms. Hilton's large-ass shoes for her large ass feet. Those shoes also reminded of me Oz. Like the dog and the shoes belonged in a magical world that these characters desperately want to be a part of but will ultimately always be fakers. The slippers aren't quite ruby red and that dog is actually a chihhuahua.
I enjoyed most of the performances save for the two leads, (Mark) Isreal Broussard and (Rebecca) Katie Chang. Unfortunately, Broussard's Mark comes off like he's on heroin and just being an uncharming Sid from Skins, and Ms. Chang's, Rebecca, is like a boringly vapid, uncharasmatic Scarface.
If you’re going to have anti-heroes as your protagonists, they better be smart, funny, charming, fucking something.... Mark needed some Walter White from season 2 or Bill Macy's character from Fargo (something humanizing. more pain, more insight, anything) Rebecca should have had some George Jung or Stringer Bell in her performance (hell, even Henry Hill, De Niro in Casino, Walter White in season 5 ).
Emma Watson fucking killed it. She reminded me of the Stonem siblings with shades of the brothers Bateman. She stole every scene. Ms. Watson easily gives the best performance in this picture as the sultry, deceptive, and charming character, Nikki.
Leslie Mann gave a sympathetic heartbreaking performance as Emma Watson's hippie dippie mom. While Mann plays the character as a new age ditz, there are layers of true maternal pride and worry. Mann plays her dumb blonde subtly as she deeply and truly loves her snotty and manipulative daughter. If you actually listen to Mann's lines, she's the only character that actually has wisdom and isn't completely absorbed by materialism.
Sofia Coppola is now 42 years old and a mother of two; I can't help but be reminded of Ms. Coppola when I see Mann's well-meaning mother as basically the only sympathetic figure in this story. This story has to hit close to home for her (Lost in Translation is smothered in autobiographical gravy).
Coppola was born right around the same time her father agreed to make the Godfather; she is the epitome of The Hollywood Heiress. She is a former model and continues to gig as a successful fashion designer. Now, she is the mother of rich, white, famous kids that live in this ultra-competitive high-pressure hyper-celebrity-obsessed society.
This is essentially a cautionary tale a la Goodfellas, Blow, or Breaking Bad. The problem is that this film lacks the dark humor of a Sopranos or Coen Brothers story or the graphic shock of Ellis or the emotional weight of Tarantino, Scorcese, or Vince Gilligan.
It’s similar to Pain and Gain (this summer's most underrated film, so far) in that you have these beautiful breath-taking films that tell the grimy stories of some really unlikeable desperate self-absorbed criminals. Pain and Gain has just enough of that manic dark humor to make it awesome. Emma Watson can only do so much in a supporting role!
*True story: her character use to be a, uh, exotic dancer, and in one scene, she shows off her character’s job related work skills on Paris Hilton's personal home stripper pole. (Sha-wing.)
This movie is mostly Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and let’s face it… “Everyone wants Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.” and totally worth seeing if you dig Bret Easton Ellis, Skins, or Palahniuk. It’s like Girls mixed with It’s Always Sunny if Harmony Korine directed it. The Bling Ring left me with this filthy sorta feeling yet hedonistically anarchistic (kinda like how Ed Norton felt during all the Tyler/Marla bang sessions in Fight Club)
I think I'm gonna watch some “Canadian pornography” and then maybe a "Netflix Show Stealer" version of Spring Breakers.... NSA, you better not tell no one.
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